An intervention

Dear Ollie & Evie

Your father and I love you very much.  In fact you are the most wonderful amazing things in this entire world to us.  There is nothing that we wouldn't do for you.  BUT, the shenanigans of late have got to stop.

Sure there might be good reasons for this carry on of late, with what Daddy calls the "perfect storm" of Evie's three big teeth coming through at once and a lovely round of unshakeable colds for everyone, but enough is enough.

Evie, my sweet darling little girl.  You are the most precious little girl I have ever seen.  But that doesn't mean I want to spend every night sleeping beside your cot patting and shooshing you back to sleep for the umpteenth time.  Ditto on sleeping in the nursing chair with you on my chest.  Sure it might sound delightful to have nightly snuggles but the reality is far less romantic with you dripping your snot all over me and wriggling all over me in your quest for chair dominance.  

And speaking of snot.  It is disgusting.  How such a sweet little thing can produce so much is beyond my comprehension.  It wouldn't be so bad if you would just let me wipe it off.  But instead you shake your head from side to side in an effort to avoid the tissue I am wielding and if I do manage to make contact, you carry on with a reaction only required if I had scalded you with burning acid.  It is not that bad.  Deal with it.  I cannot be that mother whose children have permanently snotty noses.  

Ollie, my gorgeous and delightful boy.  What is your excuse??  Sure there are a few occasions when Evie wakes you up with her screaming.  And nightmares here and there can't be helped.  But what about the ridiculous bedtime tantrum the other night?  The one that was responded to with a SWAT-team like operation where I quietly walked in, removed Stanley from your arms and silently walked out.  I hope you realise that this will now be the price you pay for such bedtime foolishness.  

And the biting.  Oh the biting.  Seriously, your poor little sister has enough going on at the moment without you chomping your sharp little teeth down on her tiny little finger every time she is silly enough to put it near your mouth.  My personal favourite occasion had to be the other day at the doctor's surgery where we had been waiting in on overcrowded room filled with sick people for an hour, we had already made three trips to the toilet including number twos for you and a dirty nappy for Evie.  Then the icing on the cake had to be you biting your poor sick little sister's finger in front of everyone causing her to wail even more than she was already. I had hoped this set of circumstances might bump us up the list to see the doctor but alas I was wrong.  And as an extra layer of fun, upon returning home to make you guys dinner which was already overdue I had to discover that our microwave (used to heat up the previous night's leftovers) had died.  I mean I know it was eleven years old but why did it have to pick that one crappy night to take it's final breath???

So please, please, PLEASE can you two get with the program.  My demands are simple - both of you need to sleep a blissful uninterrupted sleep between 7pm and 6am each and every night, thereby allowing your father and I to do the same-ish.  

If you cannot meet with these demands we will be forced to take drastic action.  It may not be immediate but it will be drastic.  When you are old enough to start enjoying sleeping in (like any normal person should) we will take it upon ourselves to come into your room each hour on the hour with an air horn and disturb your peaceful slumber.  We will then make you sleep on your floor without the comfort of pillows or blankets, or perhaps even sitting upright in a chair.  This will continue for a number of weeks.  Perhaps giving you a few nights off here and there so you can be fooled into thinking the assault is over.  Then and only then will you understand the psychological torture that you are putting your father and I through.

We sincerely hope that this intervention has the desired effect and this nonsense can conclude immediately.

We love you very much - if we didn't we'd probably have put you up on Ebay by now.

Love

Mummy & Daddy

Yep, it has been another tough week around here.  And the pic above shows you one of the reasons why.  The tooth hurts!!  

 But there were nice bits too.  Like the Playschool concert.  Ollie and I both got a real kick out of it.  He even had to bring his Jemima doll along to join in the fun.  And fun there was, check out his dancing...

Evie on the other hand wasn't quite so impressed...

Another super awesome time?  Finally going into "daddy's new building".  There was an open day on Sunday which we all went along to.  We met Nick there and as Ol, Evie and I were making our way along the street it appeared that Ollie was having trouble keeping his pants up.  Turns out he was merely holding onto the plastic saw that he had stashed down there - to help with the building!!

Nick took us on a great tour around to check out the courtrooms as well as the jail cells.  Nick and Ol also hung out together in the dock.  The only time I ever want to see them in there.  I'm sure there are plenty of other father/son activities they can do that don't involve a life of crime.

And my favourite.  Ollie's builder's bum.  He had everyone walking past in stitches.  He really looked the part!